Steve's Golden Oldie #6: Dog Biscuits
Golden Oldies are miscellaneous snatches of writing of mine scattered around the web. I'm republishing them here from time to time as a way of collecting everything in one place. These items are generally unrelated to the themes of this blog, so feel free to move on to other posts that are more on-topic. Or, enjoy ...
The following is a review of dog biscuits that I wrote for epinions almost five years ago:
Is there really a difference between Milk-Bones and other brands of dog biscuits? For this review I decided to conduct a "taste off" pitting Original Milk-Bone Brand dog biscuits against Trail Blazer Dog Biscuits.
First I went to our grocery store and bought one box of each brand. The Milk-Bones were easy to find, being placed on a shelf at eye level. The Trail Blazers were on the lowest or "cheapo" shelf but still easy to spot with their bright purple box.
Milk-Bones come in different sizes, and I like the way the Milk-Bone company (that is, Nabisco) codes its boxes with pictures of different sized dogs in case you can't read. It's fun to tell little kids -- my four-year-old daughter for instance -- that the picture shows you what kind of dog was used to make the Milk-Bones in each box.
I chose the golden retriever size of Milk-Bones.
The Trail Blazer box also has a picture of a dog, but as far as I can tell its biscuits only come in Dalmatian size. For what it's worth the Milk Bones retriever looks happier than the Trail Blazer Dalmatian. Maybe the Dal knows he'll likely be going home with a poor family.
Both boxes were about the same price, a little over $2.60 each with tax, but ounce-for-ounce the 1 lb, 10-oz. Milk-Bones cost a lot more than the 4-lb Trail Blazers. Unless there were a distinct qualitative difference, I would be inclined to pass up the Milk-Bones until I became a stock-market millionaire (I'm working on it).
At home I examined the respective boxes.
Milk-Bone boasts that its product "helps clean teeth" and is "fortified with 12 essential vitamins & minerals." The Trail Blazer box doesn't say anything about vitamins or minerals, merely that it's a "nutritious snack / freshens breath / cleans teeth."
The back of the Milk-Bone box attempts to sell you an ID tag and a Milk-Bone cookie jar. There is a plug for the Canine Assistants Organization, and another picture of the golden retriever, only this time it's wearing some kind of vest and is identified as "Nora," a Canine Assistants Service Dog. The Trail Blazer box doesn't try to sell you anything; I guess they're just thankful you bought the dog biscuits and they don't want to push their luck. Nor are we told the Dalmatian's name. Pongo?
One golden retriever sized Milk-Bone has 115 calories and 2 grams of fat. The Trail Blazer box is worrisomely silent on the topic of calories and fat grams. On the other hand, Trail Blazers have 20% crude protein and Milk-Bones only 15%. Protein's a good thing, right? Unless maybe it's crude protein? I have no idea. The two brands are tied on moisture content at "12%, maximum" each.
Both brands contain an amazing number of ingredients, although the lists differ. Milk-Bone tempts taste with such things as beef meal, beef bone meal, beef fat preserved with tocopherols, malted barley flour, poultry digest(?), dried cheese, and garlic powder, with wheat flour apparently being the main ingredient. Trail Blazer counters with its own mouth-watering formulation of wheat flour, meat and bone meal, animal fat preserved with BHA and citric acid, fish meal, dried fermented corn extractives(?), steamed bone meal, and lots more stuff, for about fifteen more lines of type.
Incidentally, both brands list milk as an ingredient, though only Milk-Bone has managed to co-opt the word itself. That was smart marketing, using its most wholesome sounding component as part of its name. Guess someone knew "Beef-Fat-Preserved-with-Tocopherols-Bones" wouldn't cut it.
Time for the taste test!
I started with the Milk-Bones, selecting one from the box and biting into it. YOW!!! They should call these things Milk-STONES! I think I chipped a tooth. And what happened to the 12% moisture? More like minus 50%! Death Valley at high noon in August is moister.
Taste-wise it wasn't too bad ... at first. The dull but uncomplicated flavor of wheat flour definitely dominates -- until you start swishing your tongue around to dislodge the jagged little Milk-Bone "rocks" stuck in your teeth. These lingering bits soak up your saliva like thirsty sponges and then release it back into your mouth full of overtones of beef fat, dried cheese, and, I guess, poultry digest. Strong overtones!
After cleansing my palate with about four glasses of water, it was time to try the Trail Blazers. Gingerly I bit into one using the good side of my mouth. Once in my mouth it was much more chewable than the Milk-Bone, since it quickly disintegrated to a kind of sawdust consistency.
I rather liked the taste. Again, the initial burst of flavor was wheat flour, but with a piquant highlight of ... what? I don't know, but I'm guessing citric acid, mentioned twice in the Trail Blazer ingredients but absent from Milk-Bones. Considering that citric acid would have vitamin C, and considering the extra protein in Trail Blazers, I felt that I was doing my body good. The Trail Blazer left less of a disturbing aftertaste, too, possibly because, having turned to mush so readily, it slid smoothly down my throat without leaving dog biscuit "pebbles" behind in my teeth.
As far as I was concerned I had a clear winner, and it wasn't the expensive, jawbreaking, afterburning brand. It occurred to me that I should probably do a test with an actual dog before passing final judgment. Enter Spike, our pitbull.
I should note that Spike is not a stranger to dog biscuits, especially Trail Blazer. I already knew he liked those. But might he like Milk-Bone better?
The test methodology was for me to break off roughly equal-sized pieces from a Milk-Bone and a Trail Blazer and place them next to each other, about three feet in front of Spike, and observe which one he went for first. I could have made the test more scientifically rigorous by blindfolding him to ensure that he wouldn't glimpse which box I was drawing which biscuit from. I deemed this unnecessary, though, as the boxes were on a kitchen counter too high for him to be able to read.
We did seven trials, stopping only when the slider on Spike's hierarchy of needs moved from "satisfying my hunger" up to "biting that maddening itch underneath my tail." In the first five trials, Spike chose the Milk-Bone first every time. Results of the last two trials were inconclusive as he tried to scoop both pieces up at the same time to take them away for burying in a pile of dirty laundry.
I conclude that if you're looking for a survival food to stock a bomb shelter with, knowing you may not actually need it for a while, you won't go wrong with Milk-Bone or Trail Blazer. Either one could be put in storage today (or not) in full confidence that it will be just as good, if I may use that word, in the year 2075. I couldn't find an expiration date on either product so either it's not required on dog food, or it would be meaningless in this case. What's the expiration on a hockey puck?
Taste-wise, I think you would like Trail Blazer better, but since you probably purchase dog biscuits for your dog, take it from Spike: go with Milk-Bone. That is, as long as price is no object, which it shouldn't be if you really love your little friend. (I say this as I contemplate using up our test box of Milk-Bones, then going back to Trail Blazers for the rest of Spike's life.)
I have a couple of thoughts on the dog biscuits' hygiene claims. They say they will freshen your dog's breath, but I find this hard to believe now that I've tasted them. Perhaps they mean that the odor of beef fat, dried cheese, and fish meal, bad as it is, will at least mask the much worse odor arising from some dogs' normal diet of toilet water, bugs, week-old garbage and dead frogs.
Then there's the teeth cleaning thing. Trail Blazer even says its product will remove tartar and plaque.
My dentist tells me I don't do a good enough job of flossing, which is true, so why couldn't I just (carefully!) munch a few dog biscuits every day instead? Is people plaque different from dog plaque? I wouldn't think so (or maybe dog biscuits would only be effective on my canine teeth, har har). That leaves the question of how many to consume. Milk-Bone advises feeding one biscuit per 30 pounds of body weight, so, assuming this to be the effective amount for teeth cleaning, I would need to eat just over six a day.
I'll see what my dentist says, since I may need to visit him soon anyway.
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dogs, pets, food, reviews, dog biscuits, products, dog food, groceries, supermarkets, stores, shopping, nutrition, family life, packaging, marketing, animals
The following is a review of dog biscuits that I wrote for epinions almost five years ago:
Is there really a difference between Milk-Bones and other brands of dog biscuits? For this review I decided to conduct a "taste off" pitting Original Milk-Bone Brand dog biscuits against Trail Blazer Dog Biscuits.
First I went to our grocery store and bought one box of each brand. The Milk-Bones were easy to find, being placed on a shelf at eye level. The Trail Blazers were on the lowest or "cheapo" shelf but still easy to spot with their bright purple box.
Milk-Bones come in different sizes, and I like the way the Milk-Bone company (that is, Nabisco) codes its boxes with pictures of different sized dogs in case you can't read. It's fun to tell little kids -- my four-year-old daughter for instance -- that the picture shows you what kind of dog was used to make the Milk-Bones in each box.
I chose the golden retriever size of Milk-Bones.
The Trail Blazer box also has a picture of a dog, but as far as I can tell its biscuits only come in Dalmatian size. For what it's worth the Milk Bones retriever looks happier than the Trail Blazer Dalmatian. Maybe the Dal knows he'll likely be going home with a poor family.
Both boxes were about the same price, a little over $2.60 each with tax, but ounce-for-ounce the 1 lb, 10-oz. Milk-Bones cost a lot more than the 4-lb Trail Blazers. Unless there were a distinct qualitative difference, I would be inclined to pass up the Milk-Bones until I became a stock-market millionaire (I'm working on it).
At home I examined the respective boxes.
Milk-Bone boasts that its product "helps clean teeth" and is "fortified with 12 essential vitamins & minerals." The Trail Blazer box doesn't say anything about vitamins or minerals, merely that it's a "nutritious snack / freshens breath / cleans teeth."
The back of the Milk-Bone box attempts to sell you an ID tag and a Milk-Bone cookie jar. There is a plug for the Canine Assistants Organization, and another picture of the golden retriever, only this time it's wearing some kind of vest and is identified as "Nora," a Canine Assistants Service Dog. The Trail Blazer box doesn't try to sell you anything; I guess they're just thankful you bought the dog biscuits and they don't want to push their luck. Nor are we told the Dalmatian's name. Pongo?
One golden retriever sized Milk-Bone has 115 calories and 2 grams of fat. The Trail Blazer box is worrisomely silent on the topic of calories and fat grams. On the other hand, Trail Blazers have 20% crude protein and Milk-Bones only 15%. Protein's a good thing, right? Unless maybe it's crude protein? I have no idea. The two brands are tied on moisture content at "12%, maximum" each.
Both brands contain an amazing number of ingredients, although the lists differ. Milk-Bone tempts taste with such things as beef meal, beef bone meal, beef fat preserved with tocopherols, malted barley flour, poultry digest(?), dried cheese, and garlic powder, with wheat flour apparently being the main ingredient. Trail Blazer counters with its own mouth-watering formulation of wheat flour, meat and bone meal, animal fat preserved with BHA and citric acid, fish meal, dried fermented corn extractives(?), steamed bone meal, and lots more stuff, for about fifteen more lines of type.
Incidentally, both brands list milk as an ingredient, though only Milk-Bone has managed to co-opt the word itself. That was smart marketing, using its most wholesome sounding component as part of its name. Guess someone knew "Beef-Fat-Preserved-with-Tocopherols-Bones" wouldn't cut it.
Time for the taste test!
I started with the Milk-Bones, selecting one from the box and biting into it. YOW!!! They should call these things Milk-STONES! I think I chipped a tooth. And what happened to the 12% moisture? More like minus 50%! Death Valley at high noon in August is moister.
Taste-wise it wasn't too bad ... at first. The dull but uncomplicated flavor of wheat flour definitely dominates -- until you start swishing your tongue around to dislodge the jagged little Milk-Bone "rocks" stuck in your teeth. These lingering bits soak up your saliva like thirsty sponges and then release it back into your mouth full of overtones of beef fat, dried cheese, and, I guess, poultry digest. Strong overtones!
After cleansing my palate with about four glasses of water, it was time to try the Trail Blazers. Gingerly I bit into one using the good side of my mouth. Once in my mouth it was much more chewable than the Milk-Bone, since it quickly disintegrated to a kind of sawdust consistency.
I rather liked the taste. Again, the initial burst of flavor was wheat flour, but with a piquant highlight of ... what? I don't know, but I'm guessing citric acid, mentioned twice in the Trail Blazer ingredients but absent from Milk-Bones. Considering that citric acid would have vitamin C, and considering the extra protein in Trail Blazers, I felt that I was doing my body good. The Trail Blazer left less of a disturbing aftertaste, too, possibly because, having turned to mush so readily, it slid smoothly down my throat without leaving dog biscuit "pebbles" behind in my teeth.
As far as I was concerned I had a clear winner, and it wasn't the expensive, jawbreaking, afterburning brand. It occurred to me that I should probably do a test with an actual dog before passing final judgment. Enter Spike, our pitbull.
I should note that Spike is not a stranger to dog biscuits, especially Trail Blazer. I already knew he liked those. But might he like Milk-Bone better?
The test methodology was for me to break off roughly equal-sized pieces from a Milk-Bone and a Trail Blazer and place them next to each other, about three feet in front of Spike, and observe which one he went for first. I could have made the test more scientifically rigorous by blindfolding him to ensure that he wouldn't glimpse which box I was drawing which biscuit from. I deemed this unnecessary, though, as the boxes were on a kitchen counter too high for him to be able to read.
We did seven trials, stopping only when the slider on Spike's hierarchy of needs moved from "satisfying my hunger" up to "biting that maddening itch underneath my tail." In the first five trials, Spike chose the Milk-Bone first every time. Results of the last two trials were inconclusive as he tried to scoop both pieces up at the same time to take them away for burying in a pile of dirty laundry.
I conclude that if you're looking for a survival food to stock a bomb shelter with, knowing you may not actually need it for a while, you won't go wrong with Milk-Bone or Trail Blazer. Either one could be put in storage today (or not) in full confidence that it will be just as good, if I may use that word, in the year 2075. I couldn't find an expiration date on either product so either it's not required on dog food, or it would be meaningless in this case. What's the expiration on a hockey puck?
Taste-wise, I think you would like Trail Blazer better, but since you probably purchase dog biscuits for your dog, take it from Spike: go with Milk-Bone. That is, as long as price is no object, which it shouldn't be if you really love your little friend. (I say this as I contemplate using up our test box of Milk-Bones, then going back to Trail Blazers for the rest of Spike's life.)
I have a couple of thoughts on the dog biscuits' hygiene claims. They say they will freshen your dog's breath, but I find this hard to believe now that I've tasted them. Perhaps they mean that the odor of beef fat, dried cheese, and fish meal, bad as it is, will at least mask the much worse odor arising from some dogs' normal diet of toilet water, bugs, week-old garbage and dead frogs.
Then there's the teeth cleaning thing. Trail Blazer even says its product will remove tartar and plaque.
My dentist tells me I don't do a good enough job of flossing, which is true, so why couldn't I just (carefully!) munch a few dog biscuits every day instead? Is people plaque different from dog plaque? I wouldn't think so (or maybe dog biscuits would only be effective on my canine teeth, har har). That leaves the question of how many to consume. Milk-Bone advises feeding one biscuit per 30 pounds of body weight, so, assuming this to be the effective amount for teeth cleaning, I would need to eat just over six a day.
I'll see what my dentist says, since I may need to visit him soon anyway.
Technorati Tags:
dogs, pets, food, reviews, dog biscuits, products, dog food, groceries, supermarkets, stores, shopping, nutrition, family life, packaging, marketing, animals
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